Riding away from FRUNOBULAX

Frank Zappa was ahead of his time. WAY ahead of his time. Sure, he did a few dumb things like name one of his kids “Moon Unit.” But he had a sense of the political and the absurd, and once wrote the song “Cheepnis”, an homage to the great sci-fi “B” monster flicks of the time.

The suits & the hats & the tie’s too wide
And too short for the scientist man
The chemistry lady with the roll-away mind, yeah
While the monster just ate Japan

Ladies and gentlemen,
The monster, Which the peasants in this area call FRUNOBULAX
(Apparently a very large poodle dog)
Has just been seen approaching The Power Plant
Bullets can’t stop it
Rockets can’t stop it
We may have to use NUCLEAR FORCE!

The National Guard has formed up at the base of the mountain
And is attempting to lure the enormous poodle towards the cave
Where they hope to destroy it with napalm

C’mon! Everybody! Hurry! Let’s go!
Somebody get the distilled water! Get the canned goods!
Get the toilet paper! You know we need it!

This is hitting a bit too close to home for comfort. I still don’t know what to make of the new Corona Virus. How many of us in our 60s remember the measles or chicken-pox “parties” when we were kids, where our parents would try and intentionally expose us to them so we could get them over with while young and when they were safer? I was wondering why I’ve thought maybe we should all try and get this nasty thing and get it over with… maybe that’s where such thoughts come from.

We know that the new Corona Virus kills people. We still don’t have a great handle on how many, because we don’t know how many cases are out there that either we don’t know about or have been diagnosed incorrectly. When the true number is likely much higher than the measured number, it can greatly magnify the stated risk of death and serious complications. An example- if you have 100 people diagnosed with the virus, and 2 deaths, you have a 2% fatality rate. But if you are under-reporting the number who actually have it, let’s say it’s actually 400, then your fatality rate is .5%. Hugely different.

So today’s ride, this morning’s ride up Kings, through the Park, that was my escape from FRUNOBULAX. It may be short term; this thing seems like it’s catching up to everybody eventually. In the meantime we’re closing borders and shutting down concerts and Disneyland even.

I’m going to keep trying to out-ride it. It’s the only thing I can do.






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